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            I’m annoying myself.


            Okay, I have the band now it should be simple right? It’s not.


            I know I still need to watch what I eat. I have for the most part and have even been exercising. It’s all been light exercise because I haven’t officially been cleared yet, but none of that is the issue, not entirely anyway.

            The eating well part can be hard simply because of the life I lead. However, I’ve started cooking at home more despite my icky kitchen. It bugs me to know end, but I have to do it. We can’t eat out of cans until we find a bigger place. (We don’t literally eat canned food day in and day out, but there is a lot of convenience food tossed in the mix.)

            Basically though, we’ve created a lot of bad habits during my liquid diet.

            We started to buy a lot of frozen food, kits and the like because I wasn’t eating anything but shakes, salad and meat. So, W has been eating a lot of crap. Though, he’s managed to drop 30 pounds in the last several months. I think me eating next to nothing has helped him portion his food better.

            But anyway, we’ve relied on convenience  for the last 9 months and it’s time to go back to basics. I mean, I fucking love to cook. I fucking love to see people enjoy something I made.

            So what is my deal? I haven’t even gotten to the point of my gripe yet. Right now my main issue isn’t what I put into my body. I know the basic rights and wrongs of that one. My problem is when and if. 

            Right now I can go hours without being hungry. I was told to watch that and eat at regular intervals. I’ve been doing that, but it’s been kind of a force feeding issue and I feel like it goes against everything I’ve been teaching myself these last few months.


            Eat only when hungry. Do not over eat. The sensation of being stuffed is bad.


            Well, I felt stuffed all day yesterday and made myself eat two times when I didn’t want to. Is this good or bad? How am I supposed to know when it’s okay to eat and when it’s not?

            I’m seeing the Doc tomorrow. I need to find out my exact calorie intake. It was 1500, but my on-line weight program put me at 2200 for a 2 pounds a week weight loss.  Those numbers are way different from each other.

            Right now I’m averaging 1634 calories a day. Is this good? Is this bad? I’m not sure yet. I know I’m not dropping the pounds like mad, but then I never expected too. I expected to lose pounds slowly and steadily. My ultimate goal is 10 pounds a month, but I’m not going to shit on myself if I don’t make that goal.


            This is not a race.


            Besides, the most important part of this is not losing weight, but changing how I eat, how I view food, how I take care of my body, etc. I will lose the weight if I do all of the other things correctly.


            Here’s  this week’s goals:

1)      Continue to track my food/calories/water/exercise.

2)      Make my daily water goal of 48 ounces.

3)      Exercise 10-15 minutes a day. Any kind at this point, just do it.

4)      Find out exactly how many calories I should be eating every day.

5)      Find out when my first fill will be.

6)      Eat more slowly because once the fill happens, my body is going to make me pay.

7)      Get the carbs out. I’ve had my fun, time to tone it down.

8)      Maintain and increase mind/body communication.

9)      Talk with the Doc and set up “when to eat” guidelines.

10)   Keep taking vitamins. Make sure I get my fish oil in.

11)  Learn that it’s okay to indulge, but not overindulge.

12)   Continue to be happy, happy, happy.

13)   Get mentally prepared for the pot luck. Remember you can still over eat. You can still let your old habits rear their ugly heads.

14)   Bring something that you can eat to the pot luck. If nothing, your dish will be right for you.

15)  Find additional things to do when you get the munchies. Surprise!!! The lap-band doesn’t stop that from happening. J


            Okay, I think that’s a good list. Oh and I just wanted to say that even though I feel full most of the time, there have been a couple of days when I felt hungry all day long. So, the band isn’t an automatic no-hunger existence.

            What is has been though is a great deterrent in over eating. I can see how easy it was for me to eat too much before. It only takes a few extra calories a day to keep the weight on and I’m thankful that I’ve been able to get the bad to help me lessen the damage I could do in that area.


            I had my doubts about the Lap-Band in the past. Right now, I have none.


While I'm no expert this is what I have learned through the first 2 months of my journey. It's 50% the band and 50% you.

It aint going to be easy. I've wandered back into your journal and how you survived so long on protein shakes, not to mention setbacks I'll never know but you are one tough chic! I’m sure if you talk to your surgeon they will tell you that you are not supposed to be losing weight right now, this is a time for healing.

The weeks between surgery and your first fill are hell. You are ready to really get moving but once you are feeling a bit better, you have a pretty good appetite and for the most part can eat like I did before the band. I lost 10lbs pretty quickly after surgery, but soon as I started back on solid foods I was back up 4lbs and wavered that way for the next few weeks before my fill.

I was fit to be tied. There is a damn cinnamon place at my subway station and I was practically licking the glass every time I walked by (min twice a day). I was an emotional wreck and just wanted to eat my way through the day. I called my clinic and got into one of the support groups. It really really helped me get through those last few weeks before my 1st fill.

Nothing physically changed, but what was going on in my head did. It was good to sit and talk with other people who had been banded, I've been to OA meetings, not the same, I've done WW, meetings are not the same. It's getting together face to face with people who are going through what you are, I was the only one in the group who had not had their first fill, but they had so much to offer as did I. I'm self paid so I'm not sure what your surgeon/clinic offers but I chose my clinic on the support that it offered.

Just remember you are not expected to lose while your healing and if you can try and hit a few support groups it will really help get through this time that “they” call “bandster hell”
"It aint going to be easy. I've wandered back into your journal and how you survived so long on protein shakes, not to mention setbacks I'll never know but you are one tough chic!"

I've been trying to remind myself how far I've come. I gained two pounds this month and it pissed me off because there are sooo many people losing 20 to 30 pounds thier first month.

"I’m sure if you talk to your surgeon they will tell you that you are not supposed to be losing weight right now, this is a time for healing."

She did say that when I asked about calories. She said right now we don't care, we want to heal and learn what we can eat and to eat slowly and chew well. That made me feel tons better.

I'm not self-pay, insurance covered it and the Doc has a support group set up. I haven't logged on to the site yet, but I will and probably attend a meeting, too.

Thanks so much for your help here. It does help a lot.

as for those loosing 20-30lbs the first month, BAH they've not been drinking protein for nearly a year, with that in mind 20-30lbs doesn't hold a candle to what you've lost so far!

2lbs up is nothing, your body is adjusting and it's time for a bit of coasting till your first fill...don't worry, you'll be okay!

I'm so totally about the support of this journey being the key to success.
"I'm so totally about the support of this journey being the key to success."

I can see that now. I thought support from family and friends would be enough, but it really, really helps to have someone(s) who have experienced or who are.
Yeah, gotta remind myself that I'm 100 lbs down, can't forget that. (Well, just a few pounds shy of 100, anyway.)